The "Red, Green Door" Perspective

On any other day, looking at those words separately would make more sense than they do together. But on my first day of rehabilitation at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York City back in 1992, those words together brought as much clarity to my life as the hundreds of cards and thousands of kind, supportive words I had received since my accident three months earlier.

Overcoming adversity is never easy, and it's even harder when you have no perspective or when you think the world is just singling you out for misfortune. You can't understand the power of stepping back and psychologically taking yourself "out of a situation," unless you have really done it. Feelings of anger, resentment, and hopelessness can deprive us of the ability to see a situation in another, more empowering way. I am talking about totally detaching yourself so that you can see your challenge more objectively and observe how it fits into the world and your world around you.

That morning I still hadn't discovered the value of "stepping outside myself". Instead, I was observing an older gentleman as he worked out. I say "old" because he was probably 50, and I was only 24. (Amazing how my perspective has changed on age over the last 15 years!)

He got up from his wheelchair and with the help of a walker and therapist he began to walk slowly around the therapy room. As he shuffled his feet I thought to myself, "If I could just walk again, everything would be great. If this old man can do it, I certainly can."

After he walked around the room and sat back down in his wheelchair, I leaned over and said, "Congratulations! You looked good out there." He turned towards me with a blank, expressionless face and said, "Red, green door." I wasn't sure what to say. My new friend became more emphatic and said, "Red, green door!" I remember even being a little startled because he really meant it.

I was like, "Got it. Red, green door. I am on it." I understood the words but not what he meant. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This guy can walk but who cares. This guy has no idea what's going on around him. My situation sucks, but his really sucks. I mean he can walk, and get himself a cup of water from the water cooler, but he won't know what to do with the water. I am trapped in this chair, but he is trapped in his body. I have the ability to make my life better every single day. I can speak, communicate, and recognize my family and friends. This poor guy just walked around the room, but it meant nothing to him.

I couldn't believe I was saying "I can't walk, but who cares? I will take this chair and my life over that man's life any day of the week." This was a very powerful and crucial lesson for me to learn at 24 years of age and only three months into my recovery. I could look down at my paralyzed body and my severely impaired hands that were curled up like balls and think "This isn't that bad; it could be worse. An inch to the right or left, hitting the deck at a different angle, and I may have had brain damage or been paralyzed higher on my spinal cord and have even less use of my hands."

This realization empowered me. I wasn't looking at what I didn't have or couldn't do but now I was looking what I did have. What I could do.

Now let me ask you: where is your "red, green door?" Where in your life would you benefit from some perspective? Do yourself a favor and step back, and ask yourself if a current challenge that may seem overwhelming is really as bad as you may think. This shift in perspective can be very liberating. In my experience, if you want a lot out of life it will ask a lot in return. So step back and acknowledge your situation, but don't focus on what is missing. Focus on what you do have, what you can do, and meet life head-on! I promise you two things. No matter how difficult the situation you have not been robbed of all your skills, abilities and resources. I also promise you that the results will surprise you!