I recently read the book "Influencer: The Power to Change Anything" by Ron McMillan, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield and Al Switzer. I found it to be a very powerful and practical book about influencing people, and a book I am sure I will refer to again many times in the years to come.

In this month's Book Profile, I want to share my thoughts about this insightful book, just as I did with "The Dip" last month. This month, I have an added bonus for you. I recently had the opportunity to interview one of the book's authors, Ron McMillan, and I'm glad to share some of the highlights of our interview with you.

If you hope to make a difference in any aspect of your life -- in business, in your family and personal life, in your community or even if your goal is to literally change the world -- this is an important book for you to read. "Influencer" doesn't just show you how to get started; it also gives you a roadmap showing readers how to influence people, communities and the planet. That's why "Influencer" is so effective. The book's authors use real life examples that show how individuals and groups of people successfully bringing about change in a variety of ways - from helping ex-cons to change their lives, to stemming the spread of AIDS in Thailand, to helping YMCA lifeguards reduce the number of drowning incidents. The authors of this book talk extensively to the world's most successful "influencers" (the people that made it happen), studied their methods and show the data and statistics that demonstrate how these influencers not only influenced the people around them but also how they changed things that many people never thought could be changed or had proven resistant to change in the past. As author Ron McMillan says, "We wanted to give examples that were backed-up by data, not anecdotal information."


Highlights of Bill Cawley's Interview with Ron McMillan

Bill Cawley: Why did you write the book? What did you hope to see happen?
Ron McMillan: We started out looking at organizations to see how we could help them change things for the better, but then it turned into "Let's show how we can change the world!"

BC: What would you say to people who think they can't influence people, especially on a large scale?
RM: Anyone can influence anything, they can take on big things. Focus on what you can impact. Start small.

BC: How? What are the three things you would tell a potential influencer to do to get started?
RM: First, define the results you want to see. Be very specific about what you want to be different.

Second, ask "What are the 'vital behaviors' you want to see change? Maybe you want to get yourself to stop reaching for another cigarette, or stop being so sarcastic in speaking to a loved one.

Third, you can't expect to change people's minds only with words. Verbal persuasion, explaining to people why they should change their behavior, isn't enough. They need to experience a feeling of certainty that the change can happen and it will be worth it. For example, in the workplace you can put an employee on a high performing team for a few weeks to prove that it can be done and it's worth it. When they can see it and feel it, that makes the difference.

Also, you can put into play the "Six Sources of Influence." (You will have to read the book to learn about these principles.)

BC: What about the resisters? How do you influence the people who won't change?
RM: There will always be resisters. You just have to work hard to influence as many people as possible. However, there will always be a group of people (10 to 20 percent of the total) who won't really change. You have to either give them incentives, or punish them to get in or get out. You have to be careful not to drain your energy and influence on that group. Don't let your momentum lose steam because you are trying to get that last small group to change.

BC: Now that we have talked about the resisters, let's talk about who you need to get on the team.
RM: Two of the key groups you need to get onboard for successful change are the innovators and the early adopters. You want the innovators because they can bring attention and energy to get you started. They are fairly easy to influence because they like to try new things and are poised to change. You have to be careful, however. They may not stay around if another new and exciting idea is presented to them. The really key group is the early adopters. They are harder to influence because they want reason and logic before they get in and, most importantly, before they bring others in. The fact that they are respected and admired means that these people wield a large amount of influence over people, so they are very important. For this reason, these people are the opinion leaders. Look around for these people and focus in on them.

BC: I speak a lot about goal setting in my speeches and coaching work. What role does it play in being able to influence?
RM: You need to clearly define the problem and the result you are looking for. You want to also set intermediary goals, especially with large issues. For example, in a number of African nations, there was a call to rid the earth of a parasite called the Guinea worm, which can grow up to 3 feet in length while inside the person's body- nice eh. If the Guinea worm could be eradicated, it would improve the lives of 120 million people in 23,000 African villages. So that's a pretty big goal, right? The people who sought to bring about this change said, "Let's start in Kenya, then Namibia," and so on. Ultimately, it will be gone from this planet. It's also important to measure everything as you work through each step. Finally, it's important to establish a reward system along the way. This will help create or keep momentum going.

McMillan also made two additional points that were not specific questions, but important to share.

Successful influences share many similar characteristics, but the one that is common to all of them is that they set very clear goals. They knew and stated exactly what they wanted to accomplish in very specific terms and made it as simple to understand as possible.

It is also important to remember that you don't have to be the only influencer. Let others influence people as well. (And enlist the help of many kinds of people, not just the early adopters.) Take some of the pressure off yourself. It doesn't rest all on you.

I will admit that I was a little skeptical when I picked up this book. I thought that the authors were making some pretty bold claims, but I am happy to report that it really does deliver. "Influencer" does something that I think is so important. It shows you (the reader) how to be an influencer yourself. The book gives a wonderful set of examples of many different kinds of successful and effective change, and describes a variety of real life strategies that have worked all over the world. It shows you the people you need and those you don't need for effective change. Most importantly, the book shows you how to influence the people, you do need to join your effort. It shows you how to handle the inevitable setbacks and how to push on. Lastly, the book is realistic in acknowledging how difficult it is to make important changes in our own lives and certainly on a large scale.

In my opinion, one of the most important points the authors make in "Influencer" is that to truly influence people you need to change people's behaviors, and I think most people would agree that isn't easy. Another important principle described in the book is that it is crucial to show people that they can achieve whatever the goal may be and that it will be worth it. Again, this is not easy to do but this book goes a long way in showing and telling readers how to do just that.

As I said, I was a little skeptical about the authors' claims at first but "Influencer" influenced me enough to remind me that anything can be accomplished. The book inspires its readers through the skillful use of numerous very poignant examples. It also influences people through the use of facts and results, not anecdotes -- a winning combination, in my opinion. I believe this book will prove to you (or remind you) that you have the ability to influence the people, community and world around you.

I also highly recommend another book by the same authors -- "Crucial Conversations". I am reading this book now, and I find that it applies some of the same principles featured in "Influencers" to another important part of our professional and personal lives - our crucial conversations.
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Of the many kinds of relationships in life, mentoring relationships can be among the most important and beneficial when it comes to your professional career. Countless well known business leaders give credit to their mentors for their success. The most successful business people will frequently go out of their way to tell you about their mentors, and how those mentors made a significant difference in their professional career as well as their personal life. Personally, the opportunities I've enjoyed to work with a number of mentors have had a major impact on my own career.

The ways I have benefited from formal and informal mentoring professionally and personally could fill a book, not just this brief article. I have also had the opportunity to observe mentoring relationships from a number of different angles. I have had the benefit of some wonderful mentors, I've mentored people myself, and I've also developed and run corporate mentoring programs. I've also served as the director of a career advisory service during my tenure at a Fortune 500 company formally and informally mentoring over 375 individuals on their careers. As a result of all this experience, I know from a practical and intuitive standpoint the positive impact of successful mentoring, and I would like to offer you some tips and strategies for establishing a mentoring relationship that you’re certain to find extremely worthwhile.

Before you enter into a mentoring relationship, you need to be clear about the type of mentoring relationship that will best serve your needs, by asking yourself the following questions.

What kind of mentor do you want? There are two schools of thought. You can find a mentor who is strong in the skills that you feel are also your own strengths. These skills might include effective communication and execution. If you want this kind of mentor, then your goal should be to take these strengths to the next level. On the other hand, you might seek a mentor who is strong in the areas which you recognize are your weakest skills. Examples of these competencies might include the ability to delegate tasks or the ability to effectively manage workers’ performance. If this is the approach you’re taking to finding a mentor, then your goal will be to work on your weaknesses, and turn them into strengths. Whichever approach you prefer, decide what is best for you and then start to look for a mentor.

How do you select a mentor? Once again, there are two schools of thought when it comes to this question. In seeking a mentor, you can limit your search to people who currently hold the role or position you aspire to hold yourself, or you can focus strictly on a mentor who possesses character traits like leadership, integrity, fairness which you want to emulate. Sometimes, you can find a mentor who not only holds a position you aspire to, but who also is strong in the skills you’d like to master yourself. I recommend this "combination approach" for a number of reasons. First, you might ultimately find that the position you originally thought you wanted isn't all you thought it might be, once you learn more about it. Second, skills can be taught much easier than character, leadership or ethics. If you can’t find that "combination," I suggest you look for a mentor who represents the characteristics you respect in a person. Many people can plan strategically or have great process improvement skills, but not as many people have true leadership qualities like integrity and character and the ability to teach them to young professionals.

What kind of senior level does your mentor need to occupy? A lot of people think that a useful mentor needs to be someone in a very senior position, but this is not always necessary. If your focus is on skill development, then someone who holds the position of a department manager level may actually be a better mentor, because they probably have more day-to-day hands –on experience with respect to those skills. People like this are still "in the trenches," and that can be extremely valuable. If you're seeking a mentor with mastery of "bigger picture" thinking in your business or industry, then in this case a more senior person may indeed make a better mentor. These people may be "out of the trenches" on a daily basis, but they're in a position to see and helping to develop your company's big picture.

Do you have the necessary time and commitment? Nothing can be worse than entering into a mentoring relationship and not seeing it through or not showing the necessary commitment level, leaving the mentor wondering why he or she made the effort to meet with you in the first place. Prior to entering into the mentoring relationship, you should ask yourself a number of questions. How often do you want to meet with your mentor? Are you ready to attend regular meetings with the person you choose as your mentor? Do you have the time to work on projects in your mentor’s business area? It's worth remembering that some of the most successful mentoring relationships have occurred when the mentee had the opportunity to do some work in the mentor's area.

When you meet with your mentor, who's running the show? When you meet with your mentor, be prepared. It is not the mentor's responsibility to set the meeting agenda and decide what needs to be discussed. It is your responsibility to be prepared with questions, issues and/or situations you want to discuss. Often, your mentor will have something important and relevant to discuss. You should, of course, listen intently and be engaged in the conversation. Ultimately, the focus of a mentoring relationship should be on professional development, and taking responsibility for the relationship and how your meetings will be conducted is a very useful step in that direction.

How do you ask someone to be your mentor? The answer is simple. You ask them to be your mentor. (Sorry to be glib here!) I know that the act of asking someone you respect if he or she is willing to be your mentor can feel a little awkward. What if they say no? What if there is an awkward pause, and the person you've asked seems to indicate they feel like they are being pressured into the arrangement out of a sense of obligation? Actually, most people will feel honored that you asked them to be your mentor. Nevertheless, remember that in asking someone to enter into a mentoring relationship with you, you're asking for a serious commitment of their time, so there may be some hesitation. I recommend that you do not ask your potential mentor in person. Instead, make your request in the form of a hand written note. (If your handwriting is as bad as mine, then I recommend a typed note instead of a handwritten one.) I may be "old school," but I would not suggest making your request via email. In your note, briefly explain why you would like to work with this person as your mentor, what you hope to gain from the mentoring relationship, and the basic time commitment you have in mind. (In other words, you might suggest a six month or yearlong mentor relationship)..) Give your potential mentor a gracious way to say no, by adding a line to your note such as "I will understand if you are too busy at this time to accept this request." If they do decline, you have left the door open to ask again at a different time.

In addition, don't say or even hint that you'd like to establish this mentoring relationship because you hope it will help you get a promotion. I'm sure that no one reading this article would ever be so blatantly "opportunistic," but I can't tell you how many times I've heard young professionals make that statement. Your mentor is smart enough to figure out that you are focusing on your professional development and interested in advancing your career. Besides, if your only real motivation for having a mentor is to gain exposure to your mentor's peers and superiors so that you can receive a promotion, it's time for you to re-think the idea of having a mentor.

Even worse, the person you've asked to be your mentor will quickly see that you're seeking a mentoring relationship with them for purely self-serving reasons, and quite reasonably be offended. If your single goal is to receive a promotion, then focus on your job and don't waste your time on meeting with a mentor. While it's true that some people achieve success in business primarily because of who they know, but in my experience these people lack true confidence and spend their careers looking back over their shoulders. These people know they are climbing the ladder of success not because of talent, but simply because of the people around them. It's far better to build your success on what you know (rather than on who you know) and on your talents. An effective mentoring relationship offers great wisdom and insight, and not simply an easy path to success. Perhaps best of all, a good mentor often becomes a lifelong friend, as many of my mentors have become for me.
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On any other day, looking at those words separately would make more sense than they do together. But on my first day of rehabilitation at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York City back in 1992, those words together brought as much clarity to my life as the hundreds of cards and thousands of kind, supportive words I had received since my accident three months earlier.

Overcoming adversity is never easy, and it's even harder when you have no perspective or when you think the world is just singling you out for misfortune. You can't understand the power of stepping back and psychologically taking yourself "out of a situation," unless you have really done it. Feelings of anger, resentment, and hopelessness can deprive us of the ability to see a situation in another, more empowering way. I am talking about totally detaching yourself so that you can see your challenge more objectively and observe how it fits into the world and your world around you.

That morning I still hadn't discovered the value of "stepping outside myself". Instead, I was observing an older gentleman as he worked out. I say "old" because he was probably 50, and I was only 24. (Amazing how my perspective has changed on age over the last 15 years!)

He got up from his wheelchair and with the help of a walker and therapist he began to walk slowly around the therapy room. As he shuffled his feet I thought to myself, "If I could just walk again, everything would be great. If this old man can do it, I certainly can."

After he walked around the room and sat back down in his wheelchair, I leaned over and said, "Congratulations! You looked good out there." He turned towards me with a blank, expressionless face and said, "Red, green door." I wasn't sure what to say. My new friend became more emphatic and said, "Red, green door!" I remember even being a little startled because he really meant it.

I was like, "Got it. Red, green door. I am on it." I understood the words but not what he meant. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This guy can walk but who cares. This guy has no idea what's going on around him. My situation sucks, but his really sucks. I mean he can walk, and get himself a cup of water from the water cooler, but he won't know what to do with the water. I am trapped in this chair, but he is trapped in his body. I have the ability to make my life better every single day. I can speak, communicate, and recognize my family and friends. This poor guy just walked around the room, but it meant nothing to him.

I couldn't believe I was saying "I can't walk, but who cares? I will take this chair and my life over that man's life any day of the week." This was a very powerful and crucial lesson for me to learn at 24 years of age and only three months into my recovery. I could look down at my paralyzed body and my severely impaired hands that were curled up like balls and think "This isn't that bad; it could be worse. An inch to the right or left, hitting the deck at a different angle, and I may have had brain damage or been paralyzed higher on my spinal cord and have even less use of my hands."

This realization empowered me. I wasn't looking at what I didn't have or couldn't do but now I was looking what I did have. What I could do.

Now let me ask you: where is your "red, green door?" Where in your life would you benefit from some perspective? Do yourself a favor and step back, and ask yourself if a current challenge that may seem overwhelming is really as bad as you may think. This shift in perspective can be very liberating. In my experience, if you want a lot out of life it will ask a lot in return. So step back and acknowledge your situation, but don't focus on what is missing. Focus on what you do have, what you can do, and meet life head-on! I promise you two things. No matter how difficult the situation you have not been robbed of all your skills, abilities and resources. I also promise you that the results will surprise you!
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