Business and Life Coaching for Success

The Importance of Persistence

2008-07-14T16:05:00.005-04:00

"I never lost a game I just ran out of time", Joe Motanna Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback.

I love this quote because it speaks to the idea of persistence. The other underlying message I read in this quote is the journey is as important as the result. The important things in life are usually hard. It takes work, commitment and sacrifice. In my experience it usually takes longer than any of us would like. However, if you maintain faith and keep at it you will win. The good thing about life is that there is no final whistle until you blow it. You may have to call a rain delay or postpone a game until the next day because of darkness. That doesn't mean the game is over. Take the break to walk away, give yourself a breather maybe even a dose of smelling salts. When the battery is re-charged you can start up again.

The other message is that you can learn so much along the way. We are always so quick to want to get through it. "Let me just get thru this, just let it be over" Don't wait and hope for the whistle to blow, understand that the longer the game goes on the more you will learn. The better prepared you will be the next time around.

The quick and easy never really works.

Please share with me your impressions and thoughts or quotes you find inspiring.

Bill Cawley's Book Review: "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton

2008-06-30T21:05:00.003-04:00

The book I'd like to introduce you to this month is "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.

This is a companion to the book I profiled in my May newsletter -- "First, Break All the Rules," also by Marcus Buckingham, along with his co-author Curt Goffman -- and a very good book as well. As I noted last month, "First, Break All the Rules" shows how managers play an extremely crucial role in retaining and getting the most out of a company's employees. In "First, Break All The Rules" Buckingham and Coffman make use of extensive empirical research conducted by the Gallup Companies (based on over a million interviews of employees across a broad range of companies, industries, and countries) to analyze the critical role of managers with respect to a company's or organization's ultimate success and achievement. Where "Now, Discover Your Strengths" begins to differ with the previous book is that it shifts from focusing on what managers can do to develop people to helping you as an individual to identify and develop your own strengths. This is still a great book for managers, as it does speak to how managers can help develop a person's strengths, yet this book is far more focused on the individual.

At the crux of the book is the co-authors' point that we all focus too much on our weaknesses, both at work and in our personal lives. We take our strengths for granted, assuming they will always be there and improve. We let them "sit idly by," maybe making some improvements in those areas by luck or by paying some attention to them. On the flipside, we are hell bent on making improvements -- even huge improvements - in areas where we are weak. Although the book focuses primarily on developing your strengths in terms of professional development, Buckingham and Clifton provide a great example of this thinking - one that any parent can appreciate, and it's one that I can relate to personally. People who knew me as a kid knew that Math was not one of my strengths by any stretch. One of my buddies would kid me and say, "Bill, you work at a bank but you're better with shapes and colors." When I came home with my report card, you would see some B's and C's in Social Studies, English classes and so on, but probably a C -- maybe even a D -- in Math. After each report card came home, what was the area of focus from my parent's point of view? Math, Math and more Math. It's not surprising and is completely understandable, especially if you follow this book's assumptions. In their book, Buckingham and Clifton argue directly and indirectly that as a society, we focus far more on trying to develop our weaknesses at the expense of further developing and maximizing our strengths.

The co-authors have developed a tool called the StrengthsFinder Profile. This doesn't suddenly give you the strengths you want, but instead will help find you where you have the greatest potential for strength. This tool measures the 34 themes of talent that were discovered during Gallup's analysis of over one million interviews with people all of levels, in different companies and industries. After completing the profile, you'll learn your five dominant themes of talent, otherwise known as your signature themes. A talent is defined as a recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that can be applied consistently. Some examples of these patterns include achiever, deliberative, inclusiveness, learner, relater and strategic. The co-authors then dedicate a full page to explain what defines each theme like, an achiever and gives examples of what an achiever "sounds" like by selecting achievers from different industries and letting them explain the term in their own words.

The book goes on to help show you how to put those strengths, the talents to work. Buckingham and Clifton do this by responding to the kind of questions they have received from people who have taken the StrengthsFinder profile, and this is a very effective approach. These questions include:
- Why should I focus on my strengths?
- Can I develop new themes if I don't like the ones I have?
- How can I manage around my weaknesses?
- Can the themes reveal if I am in the right career?
The book then gives you insight into how to manage a person with strong themes such as empathy, focus, fairness and futuristic - covering all 34 themes.

I liked this book and its predecessor ("First, Break All the Rules") because they challenge the generally accepted principles of the professional development field -- and to some degree also challenge the commonly held principles of the personal development movement. The co-authors urge companies to re-think two longstanding principles regarding the way they develop people - the idea that every person can learn to be competent in almost anything, and the belief that each person's greatest room for growth is in his or her areas of greatest weakness.

Now I will admit that this puts me at odds with what my gut has always told me about myself and about the potential we all have to improve (even dramatically improve) on our personal and/or professional weakness. My own personal experience always has me rooting for an underdog and enthusiastically advising people to "never give up" on anything that's important to them when it comes to their personal and professional development. I tend to follow my gut, and root for the underdog and the belief that we all have the opportunity to improve in any area we focus on - but it's hard to completely ignore the empirical data and other research. The data and research that Buckingham and Clifton present in the book doesn't get technical but does effectively makes the point that our minds are hard wired even from birth to be better at certain things than other things. The co-authors make comparisons to the use of T1 lines (broadband lines used to carry vast amounts of data and information very rapidly saying it's as if your strengths are transmitted through T1 superfast lines because they allow certain talents to come more easily to you than talents traveling over older "slower lines."

Whether you fall into the traditional school of management thinking that encourages people to improve on their weaknesses, or if you are already a firm believer in the value of focusing on your strengths with little attention to your weaknesses, you'll find many great ideas in this book. "Now, Discover Your Strengths" is informative, well written and offers a good mix of data and personal examples. "First, Break All the Rules" gave me a lot to think about as a manager who worked hard for many years to develop my people. "Now, Discover Your Strengths" has me thinking about my own personal development. I still won't let go of the idea that it's worth working on my weaknesses. I just can't do that. I do find it interesting, though, that I still suck in Math -- so maybe Buckingham and Clifton are right!

If you have any thoughts about the weaknesses vs. strengths debate, I'd love to hear from you!

Who Doesn't Want a More Motivated Team?

2008-06-30T20:46:00.003-04:00

For those of us engaged in business, there is one subject that seems to be on our minds every day, every hour, perhaps even every minute - "Motivation." As a leader, you are always thinking about it and always being asked about it by your boss. How is the team's morale? What do you need to motivate your team? (Your boss asking you this question is not to be confused with making any promises about giving you what you ask for, of course!)

Even when your team does have motivation, you want more or you want to channel that motivation more effectively -- and in the right direction. If you don't have motivation, you are wiling to do anything short of (insert choice of felony here) to get it! In this article, I will focus on strategies for leaders and managers to use in motivating others. Since we can't do it all on our own, motivating your people is critical to success. (I understand that this observation doesn't come to you as a "news flash," of course!) I also believe these principles and tips will be invaluable in helping you to motivate yourself. Before we discuss these strategies however, I want to share a few building blocks to get you into the right mindset.

Here is the rub. Ultimately, you can't really motivate someone else over the long haul. They have to find the motivation inside themselves. (I touch on this point a little later in this article.) You can motivate them for a day or a week or so, but that motivation is likely to fade very quickly in a flurry of meetings, emails, personal issues, etc. In my experience, the best approach you can take as a leader or manager is to create the right environment for your team to succeed, give them every opportunity to motivate themselves, and then help see why they should do it and why all this effort will be worth it. Work is hard even when you love what you're doing. Achieving and even exceeding goals (when possible) is hard and even harder when you are counting on others to see it through, just as we all do. To motivate people to do the job, task, or project and do it well, your team has to do it all -- the easy stuff, the hard stuff, and the monotonous, tedious stuff, not just the fun and exciting stuff. All of it has to be done equally well for the project to really succeed. If the individuals can't find the motivation to do it and maintain it, then the team's results won't be as good as they could otherwise be.

The other principle that is critical to keep in mind is that every situation is "motivationally neutral." We have the habit of looking at things as "motivators" or "de-motivators." Actually, there is no such thing. For a situation to be one or the other all depends upon your perspective. Some of you cynics out there are probably saying, "Bill, that sounds like you're saying a situation is good or bad purely depending upon the way you 'spin it.'" That is what I'm saying, but I'd like to point out that the idea of "spinning it" gets a bad rap. I'm not encouraging you to pretend that some issue or challenge isn't hard. Instead, I want to urge you to look for the upside or opportunity in a challenging situation. Here is an example.

The legendary Harry Houdini started out as magician, and evidently not a very good one. Since traditional magic wasn't working for him, he changed his act and cut back on the card tricks and sawing his wife in half every night. He shifted his focus, and became a world famous escape artist. I think everyone knows just how successful Houdini became after that shift in focus.

Houdini faced a situation that was neither motivating nor de-motivating. It was just a situation. Some people (perhaps many people) would probably see the situation as a de-motivator, but other people -- frequently the more successful people -- wouldn't see it that way. Instead, they would use the situation to move on and get past the challenges. They found something in the situation that motivated them.

Now, let's talk about how you can motivate your people:

Know Your People. You have to know your people. It's not just about the basic easy questions or observation, although there is a place for that. To really help a person motivate him or herself, you need to understand them and know what's most meaningful to them. Do they like public praise or do they shun the spotlight? Do they like having a lot of things on their plate at one time, or do they want to handle one thing at a time? If they don't like the spotlight, for example, you have to dig and find why. Then, you can find the most appropriate way to recognize that person's efforts. You need to know what does and doesn't drive them, in order to help them find a strong enough reason to do it. If they can't come up with a good enough reason for self-motivation, help them. I remember reading about a car repair shop that faced this kind of challenge. The manager of the repair shop felt that the work of his repairmen was slow and shoddy. To help motivate his people, he learned what was important to his employees, and he reminded them each and every day how they were making people lives better and keeping kids safe as a result of their great repair work.

Get Them Fully Engaged. It's hard for people to stay motivated if they don't think they have the ability to influence the impact on a project or the final outcome. Most people want to share their ideas, suggestions or approaches. If all you do is tell people what to do and how to do it, you are not maximizing your team's potential and they feel less engaged. They may give you what you want, and you may even get more than you expected, but they still will not contribute everything they would have if they had felt truly empowered.

Be Specific. Although I just cautioned against spoon feeding your people, you should still make sure there is no confusion about what needs to be done and what the end game is. You can leave the strategy open to suggestions, but make sure it is clear what they are working towards to start. When you have 5, 20, or even 100 people working for you there is a lot of room for misinterpretation. You can avoid this problem by being very clear about what you want and need. If there are behaviors that need to change, clearly and openly talk about those issues. If the team tends to rely too much on anecdotal information, then require more fact-based recommendations.

Live up to your end of the deal. If you are asking people to step up and work hard for you, don't let them down. If they are asking for information, get it to them on time -- and get it to them early if possible. If you have promised to give them the time to do what they need, don't bog them down with extra meetings, projects or "busy work" you don't want to do or don't think you have the time to do. When it's "crunch time," your team doesn't have time for this extraneous work either, so do it yourself. If there are people hurting the team and everyone knows it then get these difficult people on board or get them out of the process.

Track and Celebrate Progress. Know what is going on. Nothing is more effective in moving people to action and keeping them going than a feeling that progress is being made. At the same time, nothing will kill momentum quicker than the boss being clueless about progress. If a person or your team asks for an update, you'd better be able to provide that update right there on the spot or in less than 5 minutes. If your response is, "I haven't checked the numbers in a few days" or "I'm not sure, but I'll email you something in the next couple of days, that's a very bad sign. You also can't recognize extra effort or progress if you don't know what is going on. If your team is ahead of plan by a percent or two earlier than you expected or if part of a project will be completed a few days ahead of an important deadline, celebrate that. You can't celebrate this progress, if you haven't been tracking it - and make sure that you don't just celebrate at the end of the project. Find opportunities to celebrate even small milestones along the way.

Use energy wisely. If you need to encourage people to tackle the less desirable parts of the assignment or activities they find very challenging, make these demands when they are at their best and when they have a lot of energy. None of us want to be forced to tackle something we feel is a weakness or want to be asked to come through at a time when our energy is at low ebb. For some of you, that time of low energy might be right after lunch during a "food coma" or after a couple of tough meetings. Make it a point to tackle the tough stuff when you are at your peak energy level or when you feel especially good -- like after receiving some recognition, giving a good presentation, or receiving a positive progress report.

Show your team that it can be done and will be worth the effort. It can be very useful to point to examples of other teams that have faced a similar challenge and come through with flying colors. I recently read about a manager who wanted his team to see that they could be a high-performing team. He made arrangements to have two of his people work on a high-performing team for three weeks. As a result, their experience extended beyond simply hearing that challenging results could be achieved. They saw firsthand that it could be done, and even participating in the experience. Also, getting your team to understand the specific results of successfully completing the project can be invaluable -- whether those benefits come in the form of profit sharing, recognition from the rest of the company, or some other reward.

I realize that these concepts just scratch the surface of this important topic. I'd like to hear your thoughts and experiences with respect to motivation. Please contact me through my blog or by sending me an e-mail note. I look forward to sharing your comments with the rest of our community in a future issue of this monthly newsletter.

Happy Belated Father's Day

2008-06-30T20:15:00.003-04:00

I've played many roles in my life, and around this time of year, I find myself reflecting on my role as a father. Although I am a father of not just one or two but three wonderful children (all under the age of five) I certainly don't consider myself an expert on fatherhood. (I hope when someone does become an expert they will be kind enough to give me a call.) At the same time, I do bear the scars - albeit fresh scars - of all that I've learned over the past five years. Although many of you who are fathers may have more years of experience at all this than I do, I do feel comfortable sharing my thoughts about being a father because it's the most important thing I will ever do.

When I began this essay, I thought it would turn out to be light and kind of fun -- which it could have been, because there's no doubt that being a dad can be incredibly fun. I quickly found myself growing serious, however, because what we do as dads in today's world is very serious. I apologize if this essay is a little on the more serious side.

First, I don't think it's possible to talk about being a father without talking about the moms. Not just because having and raising children is a team effort, but because mothers deserve enormous credit. I have confidence that all of us fathers would figure out the parenting thing if for no other reason than the survival of our species, but I can't help but notice that thanks to the moms our learning curve is so much shorter and less frustrating. I still may not have grasped certain basic parenting fundamentals like the fact that there's a little plastic insert that goes into those "sippy cups" so they just don't spill like every other cup. On the other hand, I do think we are a little better than we get credit for.

This is a good moment to thank my wife, who is just awesome. We have three amazingly wonderful kids and it wouldn't have been possible without her - in every sense. Although I do more than just follow her lead, she does set the tone for our family and she understands better than anyone what our kids need to know, and what they should be doing -- and when. (Do any of you guys really know when a kid should be potty trained? I know I don't!) Mothers (especially my wife Lizzy) clearly know what's best for our kids -- and not just around the house, but also with respect to the children's personal development. My wife has certainly proven this, not just as a first time mom, but with our second and third children as well. It's clear that she carried more of the load, and I don't mean just because she is the mom. (All along the way it has all been done with a smile, a few well-deserved cross and frustrated looks at me from time to time, and an utter devotion to our kids in her heart.) Although I make every effort to be an equal partner in the parenting process, my condition means I can't do what a typical dad does all the time, especially when our children were infants. I am lucky to have her, and our kids are even luckier. Thank you, darling!

It seems to be a parenting tradition to declare that we want to give our kids more than we ever had, but I don't think this idea or concept works today the way it used to, and I don't think that this should be our goal. This has been the measuring stick in our culture of our success as parents and a measure of how we as a country are doing. I think that looking at ourselves and at our country with this in mind is bad for two reasons. First, I'm troubled by the idea that my success as a dad depends on material possessions - and the idea that each successive generation deserves a little more "stuff." If my brother and I were given the family Grand Torino station wagon when we turned 16, then my kids should get a Lexus wagon or at least an Audi - if we buy into this "giving them more" concept. This emphasis on materialism also reinforces a sense of entitlement that is pervasive in our world and, unfortunately, in our kids. I don't blame them, of course. It's our fault. Speaking of cars, so many teenagers these days expect to be given a car when they graduate from high school. I hate to break it to these young men and women, but you're actually supposed to graduate from high school - even if the keys to a new car are not dangled before your eyes as an incentive.

I am now beginning to see and believe that it's not my job to "give" my kids more than I had, but to "give" in another sense. By that, I mean I believe it is my job as a father to give them the support, the time and the lessons I can pass along to help them develop the skills, tools and resources that put them in the position to have more than I have - if that's even what they want. I've come to understand that I can offer this support by being involved in their lives, parenting them with love and patience, and sharing my experiences, values and perspective with them. I believe another job I have as a father is not to tell them who to be. If my children look at me as I am leaving this earth and say, "Dad, thanks for helping me to become who I am today," then I did my job. It's not my job to tell them who to be, what they should do with their lives, who they should marry, and so on. I will willingly (even when I'm not asked) share my opinions, perspective and experiences with them. I feel a true responsibility to do everything I can to help them live a life they are proud of and to support them in becoming hard working, respectful, and self-confident adults who recognize the importance of helping others. I hope my kids look people in the eye when they meet them, develop good character and values, open doors for women, give up their seat for a pregnant woman, know better than to sit on the sidelines when they see something is wrong, and I also hope that they grow up to be good parents themselves.

In today's world, in which kids are forced to grow up faster and make difficult decisions earlier than previous generations, our role as fathers is even more critical. Our kids will make mistakes and that's not an excuse, just reality. Hopefully, we can keep our kids from doing things that will cause harm to themselves, others or affect their lives long term.

I certainly don't pretend to have all the answers and obviously will not even try to cover all that we do as fathers. If you were to ask me right now, however -- knowing what I know today -- what the future holds for our kids and how we can best prepare them for the future, here are a few things I would focus on.

Personal accountability. Don't bail out your kids. We need to teach our kids that they are responsible for their own actions or inaction. Too many adults are way too quick to call a lawyer when something doesn't go our way, and unfortunately we do the same for our kids. We're far too quick to call a coach when our kid doesn't make the team, to call a teacher when our child gets a B on their report card or to call a child's boss when he or she doesn't get promoted. Yes, I know that one for a fact. When things don't go the way you might like, your first reaction ought to be and say, "Okay, son or daughter, we need to work a little harder." Give your child a hug, tell them you love them and are proud of them, and then spend time with them. We do them no favors by fixing a situation for them. I think we all understand why that's true.

You can do anything. I want both of my older kids to think like their little sister Mary Kate, who is 21 months old. She thinks she can do anything that her older brother and sister can do. If they climb up on a chair, she thinks she can climb it. If they jump from the third step on the staircase, she thinks she can do it too. This attitude leads to a few bloody lips and bumps and bruises, but we all need them. The world can be pretty cynical. Sometimes our own experiences get in our way. If we've tried something and failed, or others have, we all tend to say, "Why bother?" I often jokingly say, "Thank God I had never been paralyzed before I got paralyzed at the age of 24, because I may not have signed on for what I got myself into!" Getting back to my old life wasn't easy, and all the experts said it was impossible anyway. Let experience inspire and educate you. Don't let it be an anchor around your neck.

Be opened minded. I firmly believe that everyone has something to offer -- an opinion, an experience, or a perspective. You may or may not agree with that perspective, but you should at least listen. This reminds me of my days at Penn State, and especially of the time I spent as part of my fraternity, Fiji. I lived with 50 guys, and I didn't agree with each and every one of them all the time. When I agreed with a fraternity brother, it was fine. When I didn't, it helped me better understand myself. The disagreements helped me figure out who I was and what I believed in.

Image. There's no doubt that we live in a world that first looks at appearances and then quickly forms a judgment of you before you even open your mouth. We live in a world in which some parents allow children who are teenagers and even younger to have non-essential cosmetic surgery, just for appearance's sake. It's a world in which adults judge themselves harshly, and fear about being judged by their appearance. With all of this, how can we possibly teach our kids it's not about appearance? It's a challenge to teach them that the world will ultimately see you as you see yourself, and the most important people in your life (like family and friends) don't care how you look. When I got hurt, my physical appearance was changing - beyond just suddenly becoming dependent on my chair. My hands were very weak and my fingers curled in. With no abdomen muscles, I was already beginning to get a gut. Before my accident, I was a decent looking guy with a runner's body type. I was a very social, outgoing, and self- confident -- a high energy guy who was always in the middle of everything. Suddenly, my appearance was changing. I didn't know how my personality would be affected and I didn't know how I would be seen or accepted by others. I wasn't so worried about being judged by my family and friends. I was confident that my new appearance wouldn't change anything in terms of how they saw me. But what about the people I'd meet in the future - the people I wanted to meet, the friends I wanted to make, and future colleagues? How would I be seen and treated? I realized very quickly that people would see me as I saw myself and respond accordingly. If I saw myself as a very social, outgoing, high energy guy in the middle of everything, who just happened to be in a chair, then that is how I would be treated -- and not long after my accident that's exactly how people began to see me and treat me. I believe people admire and respect people who are comfortable in their own skin, who realize it isn't all about appearance.

Try things. I am guilty of being a creature of habit, to some degree – especially when it comes to things like food or going places. As a result of my accident, I think that habit has been even further reinforced because of how my body reacts to certain foods now and the challenges of accessibility and convenience. Sometimes it's just easier to go to the same sandwich place for lunch because of accessibility. Now the vast majority of places are accessible but maybe not quite as easy to get around in, for example, so often we go there. I am not as worried about the food and places, as much as I am concerned about the mindset I'm demonstrating for my kids and the example I am setting, because they don't know what they don't know. They can't experience things if they don't know there are other things to experience. If you and your family can't visit other places, attend certain activities because of cost, distance, accessibility or other reasons, then expose your kids to these things via the internet, books and even television. Let them see what is out there in your own home town and outside of it, and encourage them to be curious and explore

Now. I think today's "on-demand world" is warping our kids' sense of reality about the world. As adults, we don’t help with this and don't always set a great example. We have the kids' favorite shows "Tivoed," so not only can they watch the cartoon "Little Einsteins" or "The Little Mermaid" when they want to, but they can pick which episode -- and then get annoyed when they can't do that on the kitchen TV. We need to teach our kids that the important things in life are not only worth waiting for, but worth working for as well. We need to instill in our children that if they want success and happiness in life, it will take patience, trial and error, and hard work. Already, I see that my 3- and almost 5-year-old seem to be quick to drop something if they can't do it right, right away or get what they want. I realize it is unfair of me to jump to any conclusions, because of their young ages, but if we don't emphasize the importance of practice and patience now, who knows where this might lead.

These are just a few of the main things I try to focus on as a dad. In closing, I offer one more piece of advice. Remember, in the end you are always on stage. Your kids are watching you, more then they are listening to you. (In my house, this is evidenced by how many times I say, "Please don't hang on the towel rack!") If your words don't match your actions, your kids will see it. If you are lucky, they will call you out on it – and you can make a little "course correction." You should actually be more worried if they don't call you out on any inconsistency. Remember this quote, "Character is what you do in the dark or when you don't think anyone is looking."

Bill's Book of the Month: "First, Break All the Rules" by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman

2008-05-21T18:38:00.003-04:00

Are you a member of a great team, organization, or company?

If your answer to that question is "yes," then the reason you can answer "yes" is because of great people. The next question I have for you is, "What attracts and keeps the best and most talented people as members of a great team, organization or company?" The answer to that question is simple. Great managers! And that's the focus of "First, Break all the Rules" - a book by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman that offers some tremendous insights into what it means to be a great manager.

This book is certain to give any manager a lot to think about. Through empirical research conducted by the Gallup Companies based on over a million interviews of employees across a broad range of companies, industries, and countries, Buckingham and Coffman analyze the critical role of managers with respect to success and achievement. I have chosen to highlight this book in this newsletter because it relates so closely to this month's "Coach's Corner" article about how to give effective feedback.

The reason I say this book gives a manager a lot to think about is because research shows that managers play an extremely crucial role in retaining and getting the most out of a company's employees. A person may initially be attracted to a company because of compensation, generous benefits, a charismatic leader, a great reputation or the opportunity to work for a company in an emerging and exciting new industry. However, the quality and length of an employee's tenure - as well as their productivity -- is greatly influenced by their immediate manager. The authors' research makes the point that, "People don't leave companies, they leave managers." The authors go on to say that research shows that employees will forgo a range of perks that range from profit sharing to seated massages if they have a manager who states clear expectations, knows them, trusts them and is interested in them.

Another very important theory the book explores (based on extensive research) is the concept of talent. Buckingham and Coffman describe "talent" as a recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that can applied productively. The authors also define "skills" and "knowledge," and differentiate these two concepts from talent. They explain how skills and knowledge are transferable between people, but are only situational. When faced with unanticipated events and changes, the power of an employee's skills and knowledge is diminished. However, talent is transferable between situations. If you have a talent of competiveness, any situation, game or contest will bring that talent out. The book also brings and addresses an issue that I struggled with personally as a manager. Is it better to try and improve the areas where your employees are weak and do not display great amounts of talent, or is it better to focus on further improving the areas where they have demonstrated talent? I'll be the first to admit that during the years I spent as a manager, I spent more time considering and trying to help employees improve areas of opportunities, and spent less time on areas in which they had demonstrated talent. How about you?

Even after reading this book, I must admit that I'm still no longer sure which approach is best. I'm always inclined to root for the underdog. I know that my own personal experiences have lead me to believe that people can overcome any deficit with hard work and commitment. At the same time, at least when it comes to situations in the workplace, the authors of this book have come to the conclusion that trying to develop talent for strategic planning, for example, in a person who hasn't demonstrated that talent is a waste of time - and they present extensive, comprehensive and convincing research to support this view. The authors' primary premise is clearly the view that "People don't change that much, so don't waste time trying to 'put in' what was 'left out' of the person's skill set." Instead, they argue, "Draw out what was 'left in,' because that's hard enough." The authors are not saying that training and education programs are a waste of time, but rather that you have to match the education and training to the individual and his or her talents.

There are three major aspects of this book that I believe make it so effective. The authors make the book relevant in business terms by basing their findings on research and support their arguments by offering examples of real managers discussing these theories and how they have (or have not) applied them within their company or organization. Also, the book defines "healthy" organizations in real business terms; productivity, profit, employee retention and customer satisfaction. Two other key aspects of the book are a 12 step questionnaire and a look at the concept of talent development.

The questionnaire was developed as a result of the authors' research, and completing the questionnaire yourself will give you a very good indication of the health of your own company, organization or team. It takes you through the 12 questions in a very strategic way - with one question building on another. The questionnaire also looks at the nuances that may apply to different organizations and industries with respect to the questions.

The authors then proceed to use the questionnaire to discuss how to identify and develop talent. Buckingham and Coffman offer "the Four Keys," and explain how managers can use them to maximize the talent of their employees. (The Four Keys are "Select for Talent," "Define the Right Outcomes," "Focus on Strengths," and "Find the Right Fit.")

The book also explores the distinction between a "manager" and a "leader." You've probably heard the expression that, "Managers do things right, and leaders do the right thing." Although the book only briefly addresses this question, it does explore this distinction throughout the entire book. The authors share their belief that managers aren't "mini-leaders or executives 'in waiting.'" In fact, great managers aren't automatically going to be great leaders, and vice versa. These two roles require very different skills. A great manager looks inward at each individual to release that person's unique talent, while a great leader looks outward. A great leader looks at what the competition is doing, and looks out to the future and alternate courses of action and at "the big picture."

In conclusion, I highly recommend this book if you are managing a team, or running an organization or company. There is no question how important people are to the success of any company, and this book very effectively shows how managers can develop their company's talent, leading to the company's overall success.

Your Fate Is What You Make It

2008-05-21T18:33:00.004-04:00

I have to admit that I don't put much stock in fate. Living life with that approach makes life too easy. As many of you know, life isn't easy. I have heard many of the arguments in favor of the "fate" philosophy to life - such as, "How could you ever find 'The One,' your spouse or life partner, in this great big world without fate?" Maybe I'm wrong, but here's how I see it.

I just can't believe that I was destined to be a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the chest down and confined to this chair. I am not angry or mad about it. Would it really be useful for me to blame fate? I just can't believe that from the day I was born, I was "fated" to be a quadriplegic. I don't believe I was in some sort of trance, walking to the dock at the age of 24, mindlessly diving into the water - headed for an experience that would alter the rest of my life forever.

I'm slightly exaggerating here, but even those who do believe in the power of fate would have to agree that there are some problems with an attitude towards lifein which there is no personal accountability. If that was the case, then the decisions I made that morning didn't change the fact that I was "predestined" to be paralyzed.

The problem I have with viewing life as ruled by "fate" is that this would automatically require me to adopt the belief that "It's not my fault that I am paralyzed" - and lead me to reject any sense of responsibility. When you don't accept responsibility for your life, you become a spectator. You only become passively involved in your own life because -- no matter where life takes you -- "fate" holds all the cards. I will tell you from experience that there is no spectator role in life when it comes to overcoming true adversity. Blaming fate for everything that happens in your life also robs you of your greatest weapon - your ability to influence your own life, as well as (most importantly) your ability to make it better. If you truly believe that fate handed you this adversity and all the circumstances and complications that come with it, how can you expect to rise above the challenge? People who have passively accepted what "fate" has handed them, without any sense of personal responsibility, are the people who say, "My dad was an alcoholic, so I am too -- and I'll always be an alcoholic." These are the people who say, "My mom was always overweight, so I'll always be heavy." Difficult circumstances are hard enough to overcome even when we do accept responsibility for these challenging situations. Now try and do it with that kind of passive mindset. It can be very tempting to do this, and it happens all the time. The unfortunate result is that you frequently see people giving up and just accepting what life has thrown -- and will continue to throw -- at them.

Following my accident, the doctors not only told me I was a quadriplegic, but they told me I would never be able to live independently again. They declared that an independent life was now impossible for me. They told me that I would now need someone to do the simplest things for me - to dress me and feed me.

If I had made the choice to "let fate have its way" following my accident, this morning someone would have helped me get out of bed, bathe, and get dressed. I would have needed someone to feed me. One day not long ago, I would have gone to my oldest daughter Liza Jane's Christmas recital in my electric wheelchair and traveled with someone to open doors and do other simple things for me.

Let me tell you about one day I enjoyed recently -- by not buying into the idea that "fate" had altered my life. On that particular morning - just like every other morning -- I got myself out of bed, showered, and dressed myself without any help. (It takes nearly two hours for me to get dressed on my own, but I do it). I helped my young children "go potty," got them dressed, made and fed them breakfast and drove myself to a breakfast business meeting and then -- in my manual wheelchair -- saw and videotaped my daughter's recital. It was a great day! To be honest, every day may not be easy, but I can honestly say that every day is so much better - and filled with so much more joy - than I would ever experience had I adopted the "fate" philosophy of life. I wanted to share the details of this particular day with you even though I wrote this article a few months ago. While I was updating the article, the events of that day truly brought a smile to my face.

My real goal here isn't to convince you that "fate" doesn't exist. I'm not a philosopher or a theologian. I'll leave that decision up to each of you. In my opinion, if fate does exist, I believe that it only plays a small role in shaping my life. I believe that life is shaped by the decisions you make, both good and bad. I certainly didn't expect to be paralyzed after my dive, just as you probably didn't expect some of the consequences of your decisions. If you are happy in your life, be proud of what you have done - take responsibility for the decisions you've made that have brought you to this point, and give yourself the credit. If you are not happy with your life, and find yourself experiencing adversity, know that you have the power to change that situation. It may not be easy, but you really can overcome "fate."

Business Coaching Corner: "On a Scale of 1 to 5, You're a 1!" Giving Effective Feedback

2008-05-21T18:28:00.002-04:00

I have chosen to discuss the important and always challenging subject of "feedback" in this month's Coach's Corner. You'll read more about giving effective feedback to your business colleagues and employees - and a wide range of opinions on this subject - in this month's book review. (The book I look at this month is "First, Break All The Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently" by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.) The book profile examines the critical role the manager plays within an organization and how the manager can help to develop the unique talent of any employee. Feedback is essential to this process, and plays a critical role when it comes to people development in the workplace. With that said, I want to share some tips that I believe will help you be a better manager and help you develop your people more effectively.

When it's time for you to give one of your employees their year-end review, do you think that it would be difficult for you to tell that person, for their overall review score, "You're a one." I would imagine that some would reply, "No, if that's what that employee deserves, then that's the score." Others may agree that this low score is justified, but may still not be completely comfortable going into that review session. Further, what if that employee is totally taken by surprise by such a low evaluation, and they never saw it coming?

As a manager, how comfortable are you with this scenario -- delivering that abysmal year-end score to an employee -- now? Whether your employee deserves The fact is that you, as a manager, dropped the ball. One of your employees may be surprised by a difference in one rating in one category or another, but if your employee is surprised by their final overall score, then you failed as their manager -- at least that year. the score at this point is almost irrelevant.

I know from experience just how much multi-tasking is required of a manager these days. Hitting month-end numbers, attending meetings, writing budget reviews, handling people issues, meeting project deadlines, not to mention the proverbial senior management "fire drills." After all this, where does a manager find the time for people development? As a manager, this is one of the most crucial parts of your job -- and you have little to no time for it. As a matter of fact, some managers are never appraised on their ability to develop people.

Since you can't do everything yourself, you need your team. I want to share some tips that will help you get the most from your people, and also help your employees achieve recognition and success. The most fundamental aspect of effective feedback is being candid. If you can't be candid, you can't expect to see improved performance on the part of your employees -- and if you're not candid, that lack of improvement is more your fault then theirs, especially with young people.

Effective feedback is:

Not delivered in the form of a feedback "sandwich" - This "sandwich" is the strategy of squeezing the negative, constructive criticism you're giving an employee between a couple of positive thoughts or comments. There are a lot of reasons to use the "sandwich" approach" - "he tried really hard," "she has been having a tough time coming up the curve," "maybe I wasn't clear enough," and so on. It doesn't matter if a goal was missed, if an employee's behavior is negatively impacting productivity, or if team morale is lagging, all of these situations need to be addressed specifically, and without distraction. By "sandwiching" your important evaluation between two more positive comments, what you have done is lessen the significance of your evaluation. If you opt for the "sandwich" approach, don't be surprised if you end up with the same undesirable behavior a month, six months, or a year later.

Timely - When it comes to giving an employee a negative feedback, the longer you wait, the less effective the feedback. With the passage of time, you remember less of the situation you wish to correct, and therefore you may soften your comments. Your employee has also put the situation out their mind, or rationalized why the undesirable situation ever happened. (As time passes, they may even see the situation as someone else's fault.) Now that time has passed since the incident in question, how many chances has your employee had to work on improving their behavior? If you haven't delivered the feedback the answer is none. As a manager myself, I've frequently said, "I don't have the time now to speak to my employee, I'll do it later." Putting it off for a few hours quickly turns into putting it off until tomorrow. Pretty soon, it's three days later, then a week later, and now you're reluctant to deal with the situation at all.

Specific - I've received a lot of feedback over the years -- some good and some bad. By this, I don't mean "negative" or "positive," I mean effective. Effective feedback is something I can work with to get better or feel good about. One incident always comes to mind when thinking about effective feedback. It wasn't a pivotal moment in my career, but it was a classic example of unproductive feedback. After I had delivered a Powerpoint presentation, the only other person left in the room besides myself was one of our company's senior managers. As he walked out he said, "Good job, but you need to make it more tight and work on it." I thought sarcastically to myself, "Thanks! That was very helpful." You're not helping a person unless you explain specifically what was wrong. It would have been far better for this senior manager to say, "Bill, you need to give more background on the root cause." He might also have said, "You didn't give enough time to the alternate scenarios." Comments like these would have actually been helpful.

Objective - Remaining objective when giving feedback can be a challenge, and I'd like to share a few lessons I've learned over the years about objectivity. First, don't be temped to give an employee more credit than they deserve for one of their strengths just because it is one of your own weaknesses. Because I am not always great with managing each step of a process, I recall being very impressed with one of my employees who could pick apart a process and improve it. I continued to score him very high until one of my bosses reminded me, "It's his job, his focus, so don't get too carried away." Another example of just how difficult it can be to offer an objective evaluation concerns a manager I worked with who had always had a difficult time giving negative feedback to the people he was personally close to. The better he knew the person, the harder it was for him to manage objectively. I reminded him that regardless of the relationship, you are not helping your employee by protecting him or shielding him. I encouraged this manager to try and maintain some distance. You have to be close enough to know the person, but not so close you can't provide critical and necessary feedback when required.

Delivered as part of a smooth process - It's a smart idea to develop a process to collect data and note employee progress on an ongoing basis, especially if you have direct reports that have direct reports. Remember, feedback is meant to spur along progress, and make it possible for employees to achieve and exceed goals. You can't keep track of everything, so ask your employees to be part of the process. Ask them each to submit monthly or bi-monthly accomplishment reports to you. This will allow you to track progress, recognize outstanding achievement, and also address a lack of progress in real time. For example, I can't tell you how many times I found myself wishing I had known more about the progress of a project earlier as a deadline approached. I also recommend scheduling regular one-on-one meetings or other meetings where individual performance can be discussed. If you don't make a conscious effort to do this, you'll certainly come up with countless reasons and excuses not to do it. You'll find yourself saying, "I only have 10 minutes before my next meeting," or "I can't go over this now; this employee has a deadline to meet for me and I can't afford for it to be late," or countless other good reasons and bad excuses.

There's no doubt that systems for delivering effective feedback can be challenging to establish, but the benefits are well worth the effort when it comes to achieving and exceeding ambitious goals, and when it comes to employee morale. Be sure to e-mail me and let me know about feedback strategies you've found to be successful!

Book Profile: "Influencer: The Power to Change Anything" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield and Al Switzer and Ron McMillan

2008-04-02T16:49:00.006-04:00

I recently read the book "Influencer: The Power to Change Anything" by Ron McMillan, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield and Al Switzer. I found it to be a very powerful and practical book about influencing people, and a book I am sure I will refer to again many times in the years to come.

In this month's Book Profile, I want to share my thoughts about this insightful book, just as I did with "The Dip" last month. This month, I have an added bonus for you. I recently had the opportunity to interview one of the book's authors, Ron McMillan, and I'm glad to share some of the highlights of our interview with you.

If you hope to make a difference in any aspect of your life -- in business, in your family and personal life, in your community or even if your goal is to literally change the world -- this is an important book for you to read. "Influencer" doesn't just show you how to get started; it also gives you a roadmap showing readers how to influence people, communities and the planet. That's why "Influencer" is so effective. The book's authors use real life examples that show how individuals and groups of people successfully bringing about change in a variety of ways - from helping ex-cons to change their lives, to stemming the spread of AIDS in Thailand, to helping YMCA lifeguards reduce the number of drowning incidents. The authors of this book talk extensively to the world's most successful "influencers" (the people that made it happen), studied their methods and show the data and statistics that demonstrate how these influencers not only influenced the people around them but also how they changed things that many people never thought could be changed or had proven resistant to change in the past. As author Ron McMillan says, "We wanted to give examples that were backed-up by data, not anecdotal information."

Highlights of Bill Cawley's Interview with Ron McMillan

Bill Cawley: Why did you write the book? What did you hope to see happen?
Ron McMillan: We started out looking at organizations to see how we could help them change things for the better, but then it turned into "Let's show how we can change the world!"

BC: What would you say to people who think they can't influence people, especially on a large scale?
RM: Anyone can influence anything, they can take on big things. Focus on what you can impact. Start small.

BC: How? What are the three things you would tell a potential influencer to do to get started?
RM: First, define the results you want to see. Be very specific about what you want to be different.

Second, ask "What are the 'vital behaviors' you want to see change? Maybe you want to get yourself to stop reaching for another cigarette, or stop being so sarcastic in speaking to a loved one.

Third, you can't expect to change people's minds only with words. Verbal persuasion, explaining to people why they should change their behavior, isn't enough. They need to experience a feeling of certainty that the change can happen and it will be worth it. For example, in the workplace you can put an employee on a high performing team for a few weeks to prove that it can be done and it's worth it. When they can see it and feel it, that makes the difference.

Also, you can put into play the "Six Sources of Influence." (You will have to read the book to learn about these principles.)

BC: What about the resisters? How do you influence the people who won't change?
RM: There will always be resisters. You just have to work hard to influence as many people as possible. However, there will always be a group of people (10 to 20 percent of the total) who won't really change. You have to either give them incentives, or punish them to get in or get out. You have to be careful not to drain your energy and influence on that group. Don't let your momentum lose steam because you are trying to get that last small group to change.

BC: Now that we have talked about the resisters, let's talk about who you need to get on the team.
RM: Two of the key groups you need to get onboard for successful change are the innovators and the early adopters. You want the innovators because they can bring attention and energy to get you started. They are fairly easy to influence because they like to try new things and are poised to change. You have to be careful, however. They may not stay around if another new and exciting idea is presented to them. The really key group is the early adopters. They are harder to influence because they want reason and logic before they get in and, most importantly, before they bring others in. The fact that they are respected and admired means that these people wield a large amount of influence over people, so they are very important. For this reason, these people are the opinion leaders. Look around for these people and focus in on them.

BC: I speak a lot about goal setting in my speeches and coaching work. What role does it play in being able to influence?
RM: You need to clearly define the problem and the result you are looking for. You want to also set intermediary goals, especially with large issues. For example, in a number of African nations, there was a call to rid the earth of a parasite called the Guinea worm, which can grow up to 3 feet in length while inside the person's body- nice eh. If the Guinea worm could be eradicated, it would improve the lives of 120 million people in 23,000 African villages. So that's a pretty big goal, right? The people who sought to bring about this change said, "Let's start in Kenya, then Namibia," and so on. Ultimately, it will be gone from this planet. It's also important to measure everything as you work through each step. Finally, it's important to establish a reward system along the way. This will help create or keep momentum going.

McMillan also made two additional points that were not specific questions, but important to share.

Successful influences share many similar characteristics, but the one that is common to all of them is that they set very clear goals. They knew and stated exactly what they wanted to accomplish in very specific terms and made it as simple to understand as possible.

It is also important to remember that you don't have to be the only influencer. Let others influence people as well. (And enlist the help of many kinds of people, not just the early adopters.) Take some of the pressure off yourself. It doesn't rest all on you.

I will admit that I was a little skeptical when I picked up this book. I thought that the authors were making some pretty bold claims, but I am happy to report that it really does deliver. "Influencer" does something that I think is so important. It shows you (the reader) how to be an influencer yourself. The book gives a wonderful set of examples of many different kinds of successful and effective change, and describes a variety of real life strategies that have worked all over the world. It shows you the people you need and those you don't need for effective change. Most importantly, the book shows you how to influence the people, you do need to join your effort. It shows you how to handle the inevitable setbacks and how to push on. Lastly, the book is realistic in acknowledging how difficult it is to make important changes in our own lives and certainly on a large scale.

In my opinion, one of the most important points the authors make in "Influencer" is that to truly influence people you need to change people's behaviors, and I think most people would agree that isn't easy. Another important principle described in the book is that it is crucial to show people that they can achieve whatever the goal may be and that it will be worth it. Again, this is not easy to do but this book goes a long way in showing and telling readers how to do just that.

As I said, I was a little skeptical about the authors' claims at first but "Influencer" influenced me enough to remind me that anything can be accomplished. The book inspires its readers through the skillful use of numerous very poignant examples. It also influences people through the use of facts and results, not anecdotes -- a winning combination, in my opinion. I believe this book will prove to you (or remind you) that you have the ability to influence the people, community and world around you.

I also highly recommend another book by the same authors -- "Crucial Conversations". I am reading this book now, and I find that it applies some of the same principles featured in "Influencers" to another important part of our professional and personal lives - our crucial conversations.

Business Coaching Corner: Maybe Eliot Spitzer Should Have Had a Mentor! The Importance of Mentoring

2008-04-02T16:31:00.002-04:00

Of the many kinds of relationships in life, mentoring relationships can be among the most important and beneficial when it comes to your professional career. Countless well known business leaders give credit to their mentors for their success. The most successful business people will frequently go out of their way to tell you about their mentors, and how those mentors made a significant difference in their professional career as well as their personal life. Personally, the opportunities I've enjoyed to work with a number of mentors have had a major impact on my own career.

The ways I have benefited from formal and informal mentoring professionally and personally could fill a book, not just this brief article. I have also had the opportunity to observe mentoring relationships from a number of different angles. I have had the benefit of some wonderful mentors, I've mentored people myself, and I've also developed and run corporate mentoring programs. I've also served as the director of a career advisory service during my tenure at a Fortune 500 company formally and informally mentoring over 375 individuals on their careers. As a result of all this experience, I know from a practical and intuitive standpoint the positive impact of successful mentoring, and I would like to offer you some tips and strategies for establishing a mentoring relationship that you’re certain to find extremely worthwhile.

Before you enter into a mentoring relationship, you need to be clear about the type of mentoring relationship that will best serve your needs, by asking yourself the following questions.

What kind of mentor do you want? There are two schools of thought. You can find a mentor who is strong in the skills that you feel are also your own strengths. These skills might include effective communication and execution. If you want this kind of mentor, then your goal should be to take these strengths to the next level. On the other hand, you might seek a mentor who is strong in the areas which you recognize are your weakest skills. Examples of these competencies might include the ability to delegate tasks or the ability to effectively manage workers’ performance. If this is the approach you’re taking to finding a mentor, then your goal will be to work on your weaknesses, and turn them into strengths. Whichever approach you prefer, decide what is best for you and then start to look for a mentor.

How do you select a mentor? Once again, there are two schools of thought when it comes to this question. In seeking a mentor, you can limit your search to people who currently hold the role or position you aspire to hold yourself, or you can focus strictly on a mentor who possesses character traits like leadership, integrity, fairness which you want to emulate. Sometimes, you can find a mentor who not only holds a position you aspire to, but who also is strong in the skills you’d like to master yourself. I recommend this "combination approach" for a number of reasons. First, you might ultimately find that the position you originally thought you wanted isn't all you thought it might be, once you learn more about it. Second, skills can be taught much easier than character, leadership or ethics. If you can’t find that "combination," I suggest you look for a mentor who represents the characteristics you respect in a person. Many people can plan strategically or have great process improvement skills, but not as many people have true leadership qualities like integrity and character and the ability to teach them to young professionals.

What kind of senior level does your mentor need to occupy? A lot of people think that a useful mentor needs to be someone in a very senior position, but this is not always necessary. If your focus is on skill development, then someone who holds the position of a department manager level may actually be a better mentor, because they probably have more day-to-day hands –on experience with respect to those skills. People like this are still "in the trenches," and that can be extremely valuable. If you're seeking a mentor with mastery of "bigger picture" thinking in your business or industry, then in this case a more senior person may indeed make a better mentor. These people may be "out of the trenches" on a daily basis, but they're in a position to see and helping to develop your company's big picture.

Do you have the necessary time and commitment? Nothing can be worse than entering into a mentoring relationship and not seeing it through or not showing the necessary commitment level, leaving the mentor wondering why he or she made the effort to meet with you in the first place. Prior to entering into the mentoring relationship, you should ask yourself a number of questions. How often do you want to meet with your mentor? Are you ready to attend regular meetings with the person you choose as your mentor? Do you have the time to work on projects in your mentor’s business area? It's worth remembering that some of the most successful mentoring relationships have occurred when the mentee had the opportunity to do some work in the mentor's area.

When you meet with your mentor, who's running the show? When you meet with your mentor, be prepared. It is not the mentor's responsibility to set the meeting agenda and decide what needs to be discussed. It is your responsibility to be prepared with questions, issues and/or situations you want to discuss. Often, your mentor will have something important and relevant to discuss. You should, of course, listen intently and be engaged in the conversation. Ultimately, the focus of a mentoring relationship should be on professional development, and taking responsibility for the relationship and how your meetings will be conducted is a very useful step in that direction.

How do you ask someone to be your mentor? The answer is simple. You ask them to be your mentor. (Sorry to be glib here!) I know that the act of asking someone you respect if he or she is willing to be your mentor can feel a little awkward. What if they say no? What if there is an awkward pause, and the person you've asked seems to indicate they feel like they are being pressured into the arrangement out of a sense of obligation? Actually, most people will feel honored that you asked them to be your mentor. Nevertheless, remember that in asking someone to enter into a mentoring relationship with you, you're asking for a serious commitment of their time, so there may be some hesitation. I recommend that you do not ask your potential mentor in person. Instead, make your request in the form of a hand written note. (If your handwriting is as bad as mine, then I recommend a typed note instead of a handwritten one.) I may be "old school," but I would not suggest making your request via email. In your note, briefly explain why you would like to work with this person as your mentor, what you hope to gain from the mentoring relationship, and the basic time commitment you have in mind. (In other words, you might suggest a six month or yearlong mentor relationship)..) Give your potential mentor a gracious way to say no, by adding a line to your note such as "I will understand if you are too busy at this time to accept this request." If they do decline, you have left the door open to ask again at a different time.

In addition, don't say or even hint that you'd like to establish this mentoring relationship because you hope it will help you get a promotion. I'm sure that no one reading this article would ever be so blatantly "opportunistic," but I can't tell you how many times I've heard young professionals make that statement. Your mentor is smart enough to figure out that you are focusing on your professional development and interested in advancing your career. Besides, if your only real motivation for having a mentor is to gain exposure to your mentor's peers and superiors so that you can receive a promotion, it's time for you to re-think the idea of having a mentor.

Even worse, the person you've asked to be your mentor will quickly see that you're seeking a mentoring relationship with them for purely self-serving reasons, and quite reasonably be offended. If your single goal is to receive a promotion, then focus on your job and don't waste your time on meeting with a mentor. While it's true that some people achieve success in business primarily because of who they know, but in my experience these people lack true confidence and spend their careers looking back over their shoulders. These people know they are climbing the ladder of success not because of talent, but simply because of the people around them. It's far better to build your success on what you know (rather than on who you know) and on your talents. An effective mentoring relationship offers great wisdom and insight, and not simply an easy path to success. Perhaps best of all, a good mentor often becomes a lifelong friend, as many of my mentors have become for me.

The "Red, Green Door" Perspective

2008-04-02T14:12:00.003-04:00

On any other day, looking at those words separately would make more sense than they do together. But on my first day of rehabilitation at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York City back in 1992, those words together brought as much clarity to my life as the hundreds of cards and thousands of kind, supportive words I had received since my accident three months earlier.

Overcoming adversity is never easy, and it's even harder when you have no perspective or when you think the world is just singling you out for misfortune. You can't understand the power of stepping back and psychologically taking yourself "out of a situation," unless you have really done it. Feelings of anger, resentment, and hopelessness can deprive us of the ability to see a situation in another, more empowering way. I am talking about totally detaching yourself so that you can see your challenge more objectively and observe how it fits into the world and your world around you.

That morning I still hadn't discovered the value of "stepping outside myself". Instead, I was observing an older gentleman as he worked out. I say "old" because he was probably 50, and I was only 24. (Amazing how my perspective has changed on age over the last 15 years!)

He got up from his wheelchair and with the help of a walker and therapist he began to walk slowly around the therapy room. As he shuffled his feet I thought to myself, "If I could just walk again, everything would be great. If this old man can do it, I certainly can."

After he walked around the room and sat back down in his wheelchair, I leaned over and said, "Congratulations! You looked good out there." He turned towards me with a blank, expressionless face and said, "Red, green door." I wasn't sure what to say. My new friend became more emphatic and said, "Red, green door!" I remember even being a little startled because he really meant it.

I was like, "Got it. Red, green door. I am on it." I understood the words but not what he meant. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This guy can walk but who cares. This guy has no idea what's going on around him. My situation sucks, but his really sucks. I mean he can walk, and get himself a cup of water from the water cooler, but he won't know what to do with the water. I am trapped in this chair, but he is trapped in his body. I have the ability to make my life better every single day. I can speak, communicate, and recognize my family and friends. This poor guy just walked around the room, but it meant nothing to him.

I couldn't believe I was saying "I can't walk, but who cares? I will take this chair and my life over that man's life any day of the week." This was a very powerful and crucial lesson for me to learn at 24 years of age and only three months into my recovery. I could look down at my paralyzed body and my severely impaired hands that were curled up like balls and think "This isn't that bad; it could be worse. An inch to the right or left, hitting the deck at a different angle, and I may have had brain damage or been paralyzed higher on my spinal cord and have even less use of my hands."

This realization empowered me. I wasn't looking at what I didn't have or couldn't do but now I was looking what I did have. What I could do.

Now let me ask you: where is your "red, green door?" Where in your life would you benefit from some perspective? Do yourself a favor and step back, and ask yourself if a current challenge that may seem overwhelming is really as bad as you may think. This shift in perspective can be very liberating. In my experience, if you want a lot out of life it will ask a lot in return. So step back and acknowledge your situation, but don't focus on what is missing. Focus on what you do have, what you can do, and meet life head-on! I promise you two things. No matter how difficult the situation you have not been robbed of all your skills, abilities and resources. I also promise you that the results will surprise you!

The Importance of a Winning Attitude

2008-03-05T10:35:00.004-05:00

A winning attitude is critical to Life on Your Terms. I learned this firsthand 15 years ago, following a diving accident. Doctors told me that it would be impossible to live independently, but I refused to give up on my dreams.

Attitude, of course, is not like a light switch you can simply switch on or off. It's easy to start the day with the right attitude, and then easily and quickly find yourself slipping into the wrong attitude. As the legendary Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!" I totally agree. The minute you say you can't do something, you put up roadblocks and stop yourself. The minute you say you can do it, you set yourself on the path of possibility. Now, I am not saying that an empowering attitude alone will get something done -- action is required -- but believing is a great start.

"Attitude" is one of those words that evokes a wide variety of definitions. For that reason, I won't even try to give you an all-encompassing definition of the word "attitude." I would, however, like to share with you the three key components of my attitude.

You are capable of doing more than you ever expected. I know you have probably heard those words of encouragement from parents, teachers and coaches, perhaps so often that you now consider that statement a meaningless cliche. I'm here to tell you that this statement is absolutely true. Fifteen years ago following that life-changing diving accident, doctors told me I was a quadriplegic, that I would never be able to walk again, and that I would never be able to dress myself or even put on my own shoes. I now realize that prior to those conversations with the doctors, urging me to be "realistic," I had no idea what I was truly capable of. Those discouraging conversations with the doctors somehow gave me a new resolve. At that point, I promised myself that even though this accident changed my life, I wouldn't for a second let it change what I wanted for my life. I have made good on that promise. I am living the life I always imagined I would live - not just in pursuing my dreams of living independently, marrying and starting a family, and succeeding in the business world - but also in regaining an amazing degree of physical mobility.

Believe in yourself! As I tell audiences when I'm speaking about attitude, "Anything I can do, you can do." I don't have an extra "I-can-beat-adversity" chromosome. I do believe, however, that the difference between people like myself who have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds and those who don't is that we believe in ourselves. We listen to that small, faint, even fleeting voice that says, "I think you can do this." No matter the odds, no matter what even friends and family are saying, trust your gut instincts. (Our friends and loved ones have a natural desire to "protect us from disappointment." After we've been through so much, they reason, they don't want us to experience the pain of falling short of lofty dreams.) Even if your gut isn't sure, go ahead anyway, even when it gets tough. Over the years, I have had a lot of people tell me that they couldn't do what I have done. Each time my response is, "How do you know? Have you ever sat across from a doctor and been told what I was told?" They answer "No," and I say again, "Then how do you know?" Don't take yourself out of the game before it begins!

It's your attitude and no one else's. I go to bed every night paralyzed, and every morning I get up just as paralyzed. I can't control that, but I can control my attitude towards my paralysis and towards each day. It is a beautiful thing that the most important tool in creating the life we desire is completely under our control.. Every day, we have a fresh chance to choose our attitude. I know quite well how few things each of us can control in our professional and personal lives, and the challenges and setbacks that affect each of us every day. Take control of what you can -- your attitude -- and see where it will take you! Even after a number of wise and well-intentioned doctors urged me to lower my expectations about life, my attitude has given me a chance to do everything I've ever wanted to do. You can too!

I'd love to hear how you have used a winning attitude to achieve success in business or your personal life! E-mail me your story, so I can share it in a future newsletter!

Bill's Book of the Month: "The Dip" by Seth Godin

2008-03-05T10:27:00.003-05:00

I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that some of the most powerful professional and personal insights and ideas have come directly or indirectly from books. For that reason, in every one of my monthly newsletters, I'll be featuring one book that has made a major difference in my life. Most often, these books will be more applicable to your professional career than your personal life, but they'll have relevance to your personal life as well. I want to take his opportunity to really encourage you all to read and listen to books. As the motivational speaker Jim Rohn urges, "Feed your mind!" The statistics on how few books adults read once they leave college is scary, and I've been guilty of falling into that trap myself.

I read a little in college but then really stopped and didn't pick it up again until the last few years. Like so many of us, the tragic and horrendous events of 9/11 left a major impact on me. Following that tragedy, one realization came to me -- minor compared to the scale of that terrible incident, yet still very important. That realization was my rediscovery of the importance and satisfaction of reading. After weeks of feeling numb and walking around in some sort of funk, I began to think "I really don't remember much about how this incredible and wonderful country we live in began and our history." Now, I will admittedly never have a great memory for important historic dates and the details of decisive military battles. Following 9/11, I was hungry to be reminded of the indomitable spirit of my fellow Americans. I felt an irresistible urge to read about the strength of attitude and the commitment of people. At that time nearly seven years ago, I started to read a lot about the Founding Fathers, the drafting of the Constitution, the American Revolution, and then a huge event in early American history -- the Civil War.

After years of neglecting books, I had forgotten how books can open our minds to new ideas, and expand our perspective on the world. Reading has been a great addition to my life once again. With my appetite whetted, I dove back in and have been reading a lot in recent years, and listening to books in my car after dropping off the kids at school, getting a morning breakfast bagel and running errands. I can't emphasize how great books on CD have been in this process. It is great way to get the benefits of books you may not get a chance to read -- or books you're eager to read if only there were more hours in the day.

So with all that said, I recently read a great book, The Dip by Seth Godin who has written other books including The Purple Cow and The Big Moo. As an aside, I am currently listening to The Big Moo. I am really enjoying it, and I expect to share some thoughts on that book with you in a future newsletter. The Dip is a small (literally) quick read, approximately 75 pages in length, with easy to follow examples and short chapters. They are almost like excerpts. Godin doesn't overanalyze or spend pages and pages trying to spoon feed you the content. Instead, he lets you think about the premise of the idea and how to apply it to yourself and your situation without trying to connect every dot for you.

Now, for those of you who know me, it might be surprising to hear me talk about a book on quitting. However, this book talks about "strategic quitting." In a world where we are all so busy, pulled in so many directions, with competition coming at us from all sides and sides we never imagined even a year ago, we can't be all things to all people. We can't do all things we want to do professionally and personally and be everywhere at the same time. In this situation, maybe strategic quitting isn't such a bad idea.

The book wants you to succeed professional and personally -- to be the best. It doesn't teach you to be a quitter. It is much the opposite. It teaches you how not to quit and the importance of sticking it out, "gutting it out" through the dip. The dip "is the long slog between beginning and mastery." It is the time when, for example, the excitement of a new project has begun to wear off and you have to do the busy work like keying in email addresses, filing, opening every piece of mail just in case there is some new great lead in there, etc.

The book talks about quitting the wrong stuff, staying with the right stuff, and having the courage to do both. Too often, people quit when it gets too hard. (They quit, for example, when their first mail campaign didn't work. They say, "Why try again? I'll just forget it.") People also tend to stick when it is too inconvenient to quit. (They say, "If I quit now, what else will I do?") To be truly successful professionally and personally, quitting is a concept I never thought I would endorse. I didn't want to be labeled "a quitter" or perceived as a quitter. At the same time, I want to be successful in my professional career as well as my personal life, which means I will be following some of Seth Godin's advice and doing some quitting!

If you're thinking about quitting, and you are giving the idea the time and focus it truly deserves, then Godin has done his job. Before you decide it's time to quit something or not, ask yourself these three questions from his book:

Am I panicking?

Who am I trying to influence?

What sort of measurable progress am I making?

You will have to read The Dip to understand why these questions are so important.

If you would like to recommend a business book that you'd like to see featured in a future newsletter, please e-mail your suggestion!

Managing Your Career in Today' Workplace

2008-03-05T10:16:00.004-05:00

Effectively managing a career - especially one of steady growth, with frequent promotions - has always been a challenge, but it's important to remember that no one will manage your career for you. The days when you could blindly place the future of your career in the hands of the company, and put your faith in the idea that "If I work hard and show up every day, I'll get my turn" are long gone.

Now more than ever, managing your career is up to you and it's still not easy -- whether you're just starting out in the workforce, you're in mid-career, or even if you work for a company experiencing the turbulent waters of a merger or acquisition. The post-millennium "workplace" encompasses countless trends and companies of every size and every industry, which makes it difficult to offer general advice.

Nevertheless, as someone who not long ago ran an internal career advisory service for a Fortune 500 company for a number of years and just went through the turbulence of an acquistion, I can share some fundamentals with you that will make successfully managing your career much easier. While career management trends continue to change, these essential fundamentals don't.

By focusing on these fundamentals, you will be building a solid foundation for your career. If you make these principles an ongoing part of your job, you'll be taking charge of your own future, and effectively moving in the direction of that next promotion or job.

Share your goals with your manager and director. Don't assume your boss knows your career goals. This may come as a surprise, but it's not their job to get you promoted or to help you land your next job. They can and should steer you in the right direction for career growth, but it is ultimately up to you to drive your own career. In most cases, of course, you are not the only person your boss is responsible for.

Focus on your current job. Like it or not, the recurring mantra of the business world seems to be, "What have done for me lately?" As a former manager myself, I can tell you from firsthand experience that I quickly grew very tired of hearing an employee tell me how great he would perform in his next job, especially if he was only an average performer in his current job. Instead, focus and work on your current position.

If you excel at your current position, you are in a much better position to handle your next job effectively. I know that may seem pretty basic but you might be surprised how often it happens. There is a difference between responsibly telling your manger your long-term career goals, and continually explaining how great you would be in that other job while you struggle or even neglect the responsibilities of your current position -- even if you're not motivated by this job.Get motivated because that is how you will get that next job.

Where do you fit in? The people I was motivated to help land their next promotion or sought-after jobs were the ones who saw the bigger picture. They didn't merely understand their position and how it fit into their department or division, but they saw how their decisions affected other departments, divisions and the company goals. It also increases my confidence that they could indeed handle the additional responsibilities and "bigger picture" thinking required at the next level.

Don't just be a top performer. There is nothing wrong being a top performer, and you should be proud of the accomplishment. The people who successfully land their desired promotion or job (especially a management job) did more than "hit their number," however. They helped the overall team's performance by doing things like mentoring new people on the team, sharing best demonstrated practices, and supporting their managers with their projects and responsibilities. Their actions demonstrated that they knew it wasn't about them but about the team, and they raised the overall performance of the team.

Know your next job. Make sure you really understand the position you seek to move into next. Really make sure you know the day to day responsibilities, hours, flexibility, financial data, personnel, and other details. When I was working in the corporate world, I can't tell you how many times people would tell me they wanted to go into marketing, for example, without doing much research on that type of job at that particular company. When I told them that a big part of a marketing jobis list and lead management, running test campaigns, and organizing direct mail projects, for example, they would look stunned. They had delusions of developing million-dollar global television campaigns.

I'm sure that if you keep these five principles in mind, and put them into practice, you'll be in a great position to land the promotion you're seeking. Also, if you'd like one-on-one coaching on achieving your desired career goals, I'd love to hear from you!

If you have a story to share about how you've used certain insights or strategies to succeed in your career, please e-mail with your story, so I can share it in a future newsletter!

Meet Bill Cawley

2008-03-05T07:48:00.005-05:00

One August day in 1992, Bill Cawley learned exactly what it's like to have your world change forever.
An afternoon of summer fun with friends quickly became a day of tragedy.

Three seconds after diving off a dock on the New Jersey shore, Cawley became a quadriplegic -- paralyzed from the chest down, with no feeling, movement or function below his chest.

Doctors broke the news to Cawley that he would be dependent on others for the rest of his life, and that it was time to "be more realistic" about his dreams of a successful career and a family.

Cawley refused to follow that advice, of course. Instead, he developed a philosophy -- "Life On Your Terms" -- which he now shares with audiences as a public speaker, and with individuals in one-on-one coaching sessions.

Cawley believes that we all face challenges -- some (like his) visible, and others that are invisible. He has developed some empowering strategies for overcoming those obstacles and achieving success and fulfillment, and his greatest satisfaction comes in sharing the message that you really CAN live "Life On Your Terms."

Bill Cawley is a motivational speaker, life coach, business coach and consultant based in Wilmington, Delaware. Cawley recently established his own consulting firm after serving as an Executive Vice President for Bank of America.

Cawley also supervises the activities of "Family and Friends Curing Paralysis," a non-profit organization which he founded. Cawley has inspired thousands of individuals with his powerful message.

Over the past several years, Cawley has been featured on numerous radio and television broadcasts throughout the U.S. and Canada, and spoken to live audiences throughout the northeastern U.S.